The past few nights, I’ve picked up just the right thing to read before turning off the light and going to sleep. It amazes me when this happens.

For anyone else who has a New Year’s resolution to get fit, may I suggest: Fit From Within by Victoria Moran.

The first piece of advice I opened to the other night was: “Do Whatever It Takes.” That is, if it takes throwing leftover food in the garbage can, do it. If you’re at a restaurant and the server has not brought a carryout tray and you keep picking at it, then pour salt and pepper over the leftovers so you stop picking at it (86). I started laughing when I read these ideas because they reminded me of something I did when I quit smoking. Back then (April, 4, 2001 to be exact), I threw the 2-3 ciggarettes I had left in the pack, along with my lighters and ashtrays in the garbage, and I carried the sack out to the dumpster so I couldn’t go hunting for them later! :)

Also, she writes, “When you don’t give into it, a craving is a short-lived entity. Even the ones that seem as powerful as a tropical storm will fizzle if you occupy yourself some other way” (88). This advice makes so much sense to me — even for dealing with difficult people.

For example, if there are people in my life who take advantage of or disrespect me–you all know the kind–the boyfriend who only calls late at night and wants one thing or says things he doesn’t mean, or an old friend who only has you on his networking list because you can help him write his resume…those are the people not to give in to. The craving to be around people like that can be powerful because they are vibrant, exciting, and fun to be around; however, if you ignore that craving because it doesn’t serve your best interests, it will go away. (right?) And, that leads me to the next bit of guidance I received last night.

One of my good friends sent me Pema Chodron’s book, When Things Fall Apart, and not that things are falling apart, but it contains some really practical advice for not taking things personally and getting attached to things, especially things that are impermanent.

She writes that everything is impermanent. Yes, I needed that reminder. Impermanence “can be celebrated” (73) and is the “essence of everything” (74). In this culture, we’re often taught to hold on to and accumulate things, but we forget that nothing last forever and neither do we.

My ex-husband used to say, “another day, another dirty shirt,” and while that can be read negatively, it can also be read as “things change and this too will pass.” I have such a hard time remembering that it is only our attachment to people, things, and ideas that causes us pain when they don’t behave, stay, or remain constant like we sometimes wish they would.

Anyway…that is the guidance I’ve gotten over the past few days. I needed that advice. Now if I can only just remember it and live it!!!