m2h blogs by Marcia Hansen

From Dr. Phil’s column in O, “the number one predictor of divorce is not whether you argue with your spouse but how you argue; specifically, how your arguments end. If your arguments deterioriate into character assassinations and name-calling, you’re living with a person who has no regard for your personal worth” (April 2004, p48).

In this month’s O magazine, Oprah writes, “the essential question is not “how busy are you?” but “what are you busy at?” Are you doing something that fulfills you? ‘Someday’ is not the eighth day of the week” (37).

I was busy today taking care of some chores. I detailed my motorcycle. The paint and chrome is all nice and shiny now. When it’s clean enough I can see my reflection, I just have to grin. And the pleasant feeling I get when I climb on and my knees hug a shiny tank so smooth I can easily feel the difference even with denim-clad legs really is blissful. I even washed and vacuumed my car this afternoon. This is work that fulfills me. When I take care of ‘to do’ items involving manual labor, I always get this happy satisfied feeling when the work is done.

On a more spiritual plane, I am spending more time reading, reflecting, and writing. I’m also tying up loose ends. It feels wonderful to take care of business.

What else do I want to do?
1. Finally commit to an exercise plan.
2. Stop eating tacos at Taco Bueno (I just crave their freshly made taco sauce).
3. Take a photography class.
4. Take a writing class.
5. Listen to my French language tape during my morning commute.
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In the April 2004 issue of O, Mary Lou Quinlan writes about how she jumped off the fast track by taking five weeks off, and then found herself when she launched her new consulting firm that specializes in helping companies market their products to women. It’s not that Quinlan has completely jumped off the fast track, but now her life is rolling along much more smoothly because of the balance she has created in her days and she spends her days doing work she loves. Last year Quinlan participated in Fast Company’s Women’s Summit. And she has just written a book bearing the same name as her consulting firm, Just Ask A Woman.
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Martha Beck, author of The Joy Diet and Expecting Adam writes about the importance of saving empty time each day just for ourselves in this month’s O magazine.

Many people who come to Beck for her coaching really want time to do nothing. Yet when Beck stops talking and let’s the room become quiet, her new clients can’t sit for very long (a few seconds at most) without talking. The thing of it is, most people haven’t learned how to do nothing so when given the opportunity, they can’t just sit and do nothing. Beck urges us to reserve time for ourselves and soon we’ll feel less constipated (her metaphor), by our schedules.

When reading this story, “Guess Who’s Coming to Protest,” in the Christian Science Monitor, I was struck, not by the fact that normal everyday people are picking up the cause of environmentalism, but by the fact that they don’t want to be called environmentalists. It reminds me of the “I’m not a feminist, but” rhetoric.

Words are powerful. Some people hesitate to use a label because they don’t want brand themselves as one thing and accept all of the baggage that comes along with the label. I’ve never been one to hesitate over the feminist or environmentalist labels, but then I realized a while back that I don’t have to put stickers on my suitcase, or necessarily tote all of the bags along with me.

Dillard, Annie. 1982. Teaching a Stone to Talk. New York: Harper.
Asking the Right Questions: A Guide to Critical Thinking, Seventh Edition
by M. Neil Browne (Author), Stuart M. Keeley (Author)
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It’s not all about the cash. Once upon a time I was closer to 6 figures than to five. My bank account was happier, but I was not. I kept wondering: what am I supposed to be doing? Because I knew, it wasn’t that. This time of year is hard. All my old friends are getting huge cash bonuses right now.

When we initiate change, it can be a scary place for a while. This quote reminded me not to dwell on my past, or my mistakes in the past, but to look to my future and all of the new opportunities coming to me.
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I enjoy reading business productivity books like the one John Porcaro talks about: Death By Meeting. I can use information like that now. I’m also wondering how this information would transfer to other situations in academia.

Questions:
- How do you prove yourself?
- How do you get cool projects to work on?
- How do you start networking?
- How do you get to travel to conferences and present papers?
- For that matter, how is a “conference paper” different than other papers you write?
- How do you find the time to do all you want to do?
- What’s most important?

A quick google search “How to Be a Good Graduate Student” uncovered a good first hit.

More good info on Pedablogue: Teaching Portfolio Tips. Building a portfolio of work is something I’ve always tried to do myself and I’ve always recommended it to my direct reports.

Halley Suitt suggests packing a suitcase for the week with just the things that you’d need for the week. Then, she suggests packing the suitcase and tossing the rest! While I agree it’s a star to climb to, that might be a bit extreme for me to even contemplate at the moment.
However, I had already planned on clearing some clutter tonight. I have been cleaning out file crates at home and now I need to shred anything with personal/financial information (such as they are) and take it to the recycling bin. I’ve been letting it pile up and now it’s a monster task. There is no way any picture of my office is seeing this blog in its present condition!
Note: I wish there was a way to unsubscribe to USPS junk mail.

This looks to be a very good site. People have submitted routes they found enjoyable at this site: Motorcycle Roads.US. One of the down sides of this site is that it’s built in frames so I can’t link to a particular state.
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